In the modern society it has become quite normal to expect things from others. The concept of unconditional love has disappeared from our vocabularies. We crave attention and love but we don’t want to give it or in some cases even receive it.
In order to love someone unconditionally, you first have to unconditionally love yourself. Only then you will understand this feeling. In today’s world, we are pushed so hard to be perfect all the time that we forgot how to love ourselves with all our flaws. However, the key to unconditional love is admitting that you have imperfections and you still love yourself.
Unconditional love happens when you love someone no matter what rough times you have to suffer or what problems may arise between you. You care for another person, show him attention and don’t expect anything in return.
It is not unconditional love when someone wants to be by your side in order to get some advantage from you. It is also not unconditional love when someone chooses to be with you only when everything goes well. Unconditional love is when you accept another person just the way he is, with all his flaws and imperfections.
However, it doesn’t mean that if a person makes you suffer you still should love him unconditionally. There has to be some boundaries set. You shouldn’t accept such behavior when your other half cheats on you, behaves negatively or even physically or emotionally abuses you.
Below are mentioned the main ways how you can love someone unconditionally.
- Love is more about your actions than your feelings. If someone gives you something you want, you feel love towards them. When they stop giving, you also stop loving them. This is not unconditional love. It is also not unconditional love when you have to behave in a certain way for others to love you in which you don’t normally behave. On the other hand, when you can love someone without thinking how you should act or what you should say around them, then your love becomes unconditional.
- Adapt your love to others. We demonstrate and give love to others in many different ways. There are no rules which state how unconditional love should be given or received. It should come naturally to you.
- Be an unconditional giver to yourself. If you want to be approved by others all the time, then it is likely that you give love to others more than to yourself. Also, this love which you give to others is also not unconditional as you love them based on their actions – if they accept you, you give love, if they don’t – you don’t. You should focus on giving love to yourself first and only then give it to others.
- Love can be uncomfortable. Love has its rough paths, too. It is not all sweet. When you try to protect someone from those rough paths, this is not unconditional love. You have to accept the fact that it can make you feel uncomfortable and it is ok. If you try to shelter someone from all problems and issues which may arise, you will do more harm to them than help them.
- Practice forgiveness. If someone hurts you, learn how to forgive them in order to free yourself from negative emotions. How you behave with people who have done something bad to you depends on their actions but when you choose to let go of anger and other negative feelings, you give them unconditional love.
- Show love towards those who in your opinion don’t deserve to be loved. When someone behaves negatively towards you, there is actually something in them which prevents them from being positive and feeling love inside. In such situations, you should try to put yourself in their position in order to realize that it is not about you. It is because they lack positive feelings in their life and in order to help them, give them unconditional love they need.
- Practice unconditional love through daily simple acts. Each day try to give something to others without expecting to get something back. Examples of such acts could be opening door for someone, helping the elder to cross the street or carry their bags.